Mar. 31st, 2016

bookzombie: (chris)
Sometimes trouble really does come in threes. In order:

1. I spoke to the agent about the London-based job first thing this morning. He still hasn't been able to get hold of them to get feedback, but we might now know why: it turns out that it was announced late yesterday that the company concerned (bluewolf) has just been bought up by IBM. Now this doesn't necessarily mean that the job isn't going to happen - and, as I mentioned, the agent hasn't spoken to the person recruiting directly - but I suspect that all recruitment is being put on hold until the implications of the buy-out have been worked through.

2. At about 1pm this afternoon our cat Snowy had a siezure. She was laying on the floor in front of me when she suddenly jumped up and sprinted into the kitchen faster than I've ever seen her move. I followed her into the kitchen and found her lying on her side by the patio door 'paddling' her legs as though she was still running. She had also wet herself and was dribbling slightly. Honestly, at that point I thought we were going to lose her - it didn't look dissimilar to what one of other cats looked like when he died.

Anyway, after a couple of minutes she calmed down and a minute or so later started to sit up. For the next couple of minutes she just kept looking from side-to-side and wouldn't look at me, but after another few minutes she seemed to be pretty much back to normal; she was purring and eating and scrounging for catnip treats.

Of course I took her to the local vet as soon as they were open. It's possible that she has epilepsy - it's not common in cats but does happen - but rather than putting her on the appropriate treatment they like to eliminate other options first. So tomorrow morning I'm taking her to the larger branch in Andover where they will run some tests. In the meantime, I was assured that as long as the attacks don't go on for more than five minutes then there  is probably nothing to worry about. It may even be that this is a one-off event and she never has another one... it was really scary while it was happening though.

3. I finally got a result back about the OUP job: they are not going to make me an offer, although it's for reasons that mainly have nothing to do with me. You know I said before that after all this time I think that something else is going on? Well, it turns out that I was correct. The team currently has (or had) two Solutions Architects (one of which was a contractor) and had recruited a senior architect. However the contractor is no longer with them (he was in a car accident - the tone of the agent didn't seem to imply that he was killed, but I don't know for sure) and for some reason the senior architect recruit fell through. So while I was the best of the external candidates (they also had a good internal candidate apparently), they felt that I would need a senior to help me get up to speed, so they have put the job on hold while they replace the senior architect.

When asked whether they would consider making me an offer once this has happened they said that they would have to think about it. The only 'strike' against me was that I (apparently, I don't really remember) made some comment about finding it frustrating when communications aren't clear and where there are lots of last minute changes from the business. Apparently this is something that happens a lot there and they would be concerned that I would find it too frustrating. Honestly, I don't really remember saying anything quite that direct - frankly yes it is frustrating but pretty much comes with the territory - but it would give them pause.

Anyway, after that "triple whammy", when P. came home from work I just broke down in tears. Obviously the Snowy situation was upsetting, but I was also really downhearted after having two jobs that sounded really promising evaporating for reasons that are mainly nothing to do with me. Of course, as I say, it may be the London job is still 'on', but I just don't know anything yet.

I'll be honest: I'm fairly depressed and discouraged right now. There are so many jobs I can't apply for that losing the opportunities I do have for reasons that are not my fault is just so disheartening (though I suppose the upside is that I didn't lose these opportunities because of something that was my fault!)

Also, I did get one other piece of feedback from the OUP interview, although it wasn't something that would affect their decision: apparently they said I was very honest, but that meant that I sounded pessimistic (I think that was the word he used) about whether I could do certain parts of the job even though they felt totally confident that I could. This is not the first time this has come up: I really need to get better at selling myself and - specifically - not belittling my ability to learn the parts of a job I don't know at the start. It's just trying to find that fine line between being upbeat about what I can do and not outright lying about what I can't do, which isn't my way at all.

Oh well, tomorrow is another day, and all that. But right now I'm just feeling really tired of it all...

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