Pre-Christmas grump post - cheerfullness will come!

[bookzombie]

To quote from my own tweet of earlier in the day, do you remember when the last few days before Christmas at work was relaxed and cheery and everyone having a bit of fun? No, me neither. These last three days have been <i>horrendous</i>. Nothing individual too terrible but just too much to do - though I do resent being stressed because two projects screwed up something important (VAT changes as it happens) and I need to do the work to sort it out. Well, not actually doing the programming but I will have to spec the fixes as soon as humanly possible. I broke a pen in half in irritation this afternoon. Yeah, I'm <i>that</i> hard!

As many of you will have seen from her post yesterday, <lj user="pennski"> has seen an ENT specialist (Ear, Nose and Throat for those in doubt) about her voice and now has to rest it as much as possible. We're coping with it pretty well but it's not much fun for her. Particularly irritating is the knee-jerk sexist reaction that I got from people at work - 'That's fantastic - no nagging!' and variations on this. And any response you make just ends up sounding defensive or humourless. Well f**k em, that's all I can say. How dare people judge what our relationship is like. Yeah, some days I don't like people very much...

But on the plus side a) I get to work from home tomorrow - so I can get the specs written that I need but good anyway, b) our joining instructions for our Norway trip have finally arrived from VJV and c) only 3 days until some new <i>Doctor Who</i>.

I'm one of those sad acts that really likes Christmas most of the time but this last few days has made it difficult to enjoy it. But it will get better...

Comments

[replyhazy.livejournal.com]

(allows self slight self-congratulatory pat on back: I hear what pennski's up to via TYPING, which the ENT has not forbidden her. Huzzah!)

V. sorry life is causing you to be grumpy. Hope you will have some down time to allow you to recharge the brain soon.

[watervole.livejournal.com]

A few tips. Learn to fingerspell (both of you, obviously). You may not need it, but if the voice gets worse, it's handy.

Mind you, I could cheerfully have shot all the people who used to say to me "Why don't you learn sign language?" I'd reply by finger-spelling something simple and not one of them ever understood it!

For Penny:

do NOT try and talk against background noise. Repeat - do not compete with noises require you to raise your voice. No matter how relevant the thing you want to say is.

You will find out who your friends are. They are the ones who have the patience for you to write something down (or to lip-read or to wait for a whisper.)

It's possible to be socially isolated in a crowd. When you can't talk because of background noise, you can feel very alone. Using larger than life hand gestures can help a lot, but never go out without a notebook and pen.

Try and be with someone who is prepared to be patient - it will reduce the stress in crowds. Have written in the back page of the notebook an explanation of why you can't talk in a noisy situation - it will save you having to lose more voice telling people why you can't talk.

No singing.

Never, ever shout. (It got so ingrained that I'm not sure I could scream even if I needed to, although I would now be able to make that much noise)

Find ways of attracting attention without using your voice.

If necessary, be prepared (in non verbal ways) to demand your right to have a say in situations. Do NOT let people overlook you. (some people will take this the wrong way as there are people out there who have no idea how much they dominate a conversation, and how their talking non-stop is denying you a chance to speak)

Remember, don't interrupt verbally - this means raising your voice. Find ways to interrupt non-verbally - even though this will annoy a minority (because they become over-aware of your contribution to the conversation and think you're demanding attention.)

[pennski.livejournal.com]

Hurrah for typing!

[pennski.livejournal.com]

Thank-you for sharing this and for emailing me!

This is going to come in very handy when I go back into work. My boss has agreed that I can work from home for the rest of this week (because there is no way I could be at work and not end up talking too much this week!) but we did say I'd try and go in next week and I was wondering how to manage around this, especially when I will still want to rest my voice as much as possible.

[replyhazy.livejournal.com]

It's probably wrong of me to pretend I can hear you in Stephen Hawking's computery-voice. (But I might do it once in a while anyway.)

:-D

[pennski.livejournal.com]

Well it makes me laugh, so it must be a good thing :)

[watervole.livejournal.com]

It's very hard to break the habit of talking whenever you want to.

You might like to try making yourself a clanger badge and wearing it whenever the voice is bad. Clanger whistles actually allow you to express a fair range of comments.

Also, there are only two ways of handling phone calls:
1. You listen and whisper your reply to Chris who then relays it for you.

2. You agree on a clanger code with your caller. One whistle for no, two whistles for yes.

You can hold a reasonable phone call in whistles with friends who know you well.

Do NOT be tempted to talk in any other manner over the phone. Texts only on mobiles.